475 Pound Carbohydrate Captured & Incarcerated

475 lb Pumpkin Under Arrest

This enormous carbohydrate was caught on the scales of a local pumpkin contest, attempting to win a prize as the heaviest harvest item in town. Blatantly posing as a healthy holiday dessert item, this imposter was bound, carted, and jailed for intent to contribute to America's obesity epidemic. In addition, this contestant did not win the contest. The heaviest pumpkin, and subsequent prize winner, weighed in at 1400 pounds!

Consumer Consumed...OR...Black Friday/Cyber-Monday Equals Manipulated On Both Days

Holiday Shopper Suffers Sudden MRSA Attack
& Is Quickly Devoured by Flesh-Eating Shopping Bag
_________________________________________________________________
Black Friday

Off we go to the shopping show.

Please Lord, a bargain today.

For I must buy with a well-trained eye.

A tool, a toy, and a tray.

Good God, she's there first.

That shrew was the worst.

In the line while we shivered at four.

How did it happen? From where did she come?

That bitch must have crashed through the door.

Oh well, let her nab it.

Or go over and grab it.

In the end, you really won't care.

Cause there's always much more, on the huge vinyl floor,

Of your town's discount main shopping lair.

__________________________________________________

Cyber Monday

Logon. Do not dally.

There's a cyber-rally.

Twixt E-bay, Yahoo, and Bing.

Ten percent off. A special reward.

For every non-sensical thing.

______________________________________________________________

Equals Manipulated On Both Days

So, shop till you drop.

Go up over the top,

And quickly down Credit Card Mountain.

But pay off your loan. Owe zero. Or moan,

When you're trapped in the Finance Charge Fountain.

by KJ Allen

12/3,5,&7/2010 & not yet herded, per above.

Get Thee to the Gym...OR...Can You Compete with Olga?

Olga Kotelko - 91 Year-Old Canadian Trackster

Should you have any doubt as to the value of physical exercise, I recommend a moment spent reading the latest Sunday New York Times Magazine article on Olga Kotelko, "The Incredible Flying Nonagenarian." Currently living In Vancouver, this elfin powerhouse is "knocking off world record after world record in outdoor masters track championships for older tracksters.

Olga Propels the Shotput

Having grown up on a farm in Saskatchewan, Olga did daily chores, played softball, taught school, raised two children, retired from teaching in 1984, and gradually got back into sports in a serious way by re-visiting softball and hitting the gym for up to three hours a day. (Some of this sounds familiar...) She is now attracting the attention of researchers specializing in exercise and gerontology.

Olga Launches the Javelin

It's a fascinating, inspiring, detailed and extensive article that's complete with photos and video. To explore it further, please access The New York Times Online: www.nytimes.com and select the Sunday Magazine for 11/28/2010. You'll be rewarded with a great read and a rewarding human interest story that just might inspire you to join the gym, reunite your old softball team, or hire a personal track coach.

Olga Hurls Her Kettleball Your Way

Bonda Boom

Bonda Restaurant
75 Hillside Road
Fairfield, CT 06824
www.bondarestaurant.com
203.292.9555

Having opened in August, 2010, Bonda Restaurant (formerly Abbondanza of Westport, CT) is filling up its parking lot in the Greenfield Hill Shopping Center on a nightly basis. Situated between a gift shop (The Country Mouse), a wine shop, and near a dog grooming salon, Bonda offers creative cuisine prepared by owner/chef, Jamie Cooper.

Flying Electrolux Coming Your Way!

Early Electrolux Vacuum Cleaner (1921 Model V) with User/Rider and Sail

If you are one of a smattering of select individuals residing on my diminishing holiday card recipient list, you will take delivery of an early model Electrolux Vacuum within the next 3 to four weeks. Brace yourself...and your mailbox. These old canister matrons are heavy!

I'm not sure how the vintage appliance will be decorated or wrapped, but be assured it will arrive holiday-appropriate. Guaranteed to add cheer & curiosity to your home throughout the entire 2010 Yule season.

A bit of background information on Electrolux:

From this--1912 Early Model Electrolux

To This--2010 "Vac from the Sea Initiative"

Two of Five New Vacuums from the Sea Comprised of Ocean Plastic Waste

http://www.electrolux.com/

Starting out with a single vacuum cleaner, after 90 years of innovations and acquisitions, the Electrolux Group today is a global leader in home appliances and appliances for professional use.

Embellish Your Organ with Scentsy

Cathedral Pipe Organ with Traditional Candelabra

Looking to add warmth, subdued lighting, atmosphere, heavenly scents, and a bit of ceramic pottery to the interior of your own fine home and furnishings? Look no further. You've found "Scentsy", a 21st century alternative to the scented candles that proliferate home furnishing stores and cosmetic departments everywhere.

Scentsy wickless candles, comprised of wax cubes that melt in a molded stylish and lighted ceramic container, offer attractive design and over eighty different scents from which to choose. A creative alternative to the traditional candelabra (see photo above) and to most varieties of wax candles in sconces, Scentsy offers a safe, attractive and easy way to add subdued lighting with fragance to any area within your home.

Theatrical Organist, Homeowner, and Satisfied Scentsy Customer

For the purchase of Scentsy products and to view a copy of the latest online catalog, please contact Deb Witt at:

www.debwitt.scentsy.us

Warren Allen - All About Jazz

Warren Discusses a Musical Review of John Zorn with Robert (French Bulldog and Curator of Marrow Bones)

Warren Allen, a second year student at Brooklyn Law School, can tell you anything you want to know about jazz. Just ask him--or better yet--take a look at his many articles on All About Jazz www.allaboutjazz.com, an online music journal to which he publishes on a regular basis.

Dave Fulman (Fellow Sax Player & Friend) & Warren Visit the Village Vanguard Jazz Club in New York, NY www.villagevanguard.com

Warren Visits "Upstairs" in Montreal, Canada www.upstairsjazz.com

Warren Outside The Jazz Standard in Lower Manhattan--a Regular Haunt www.jazzstandard.com

Listening to Big Band Jazz in San Francisco, CA

An excellent writer with a degree in communications from Boston University, Warren has played alto saxophone throughout high school, college, and beyond. He maintains an active interest in listening, critiqueing, and appreciating jazz in all of its many forms.